9 Fashion Trends I was Never Able to Get Into
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Oh, fashion trends, you sneaky devils. You pounce into catalogs and plague Pinterest with beautiful models and bloggers rocking the latest magazine looks and before we know it we are also struck with the desire to try these fresh styles with our own twist. We search the mall (or, preferably, a thrift store) high and low for the perfect piece to satiate our new-found lust only to try the piece on and realize that we look ridiculous. Alternatively, perhaps you haven't tried a trend yourself, but have seen it enough to know that you really, really need to make a pass this season and keep with your traditional skinnies and easy breezy tees, or whatever your personal uniform is. In either situation, this post is for you. Here are 9 super popular fashion trends that have been around a while now that will never, ever work for me.
Rompers: Rompers are by now quite the common fashion essential. They can easily be dressed up or down, they're easy for a "put on and go" day, and they put off this carefree summer vibe that transitions well from spring to long summer day to crisp fall afternoons. Super cute right? Why don't I own one? Because I feel like I'm 6 years old eating dollar store popsicles, that's why. I don't feel carefree. I don't feel the summer love. Nope, I feel like a little kid. If I feel ridiculous, chances are I'll put off vibes that tell other I look ridiculous.
Jumpsuits: Ah, the romper's big sister. Throw on some heels, grab a clutch, and you're ready for a cool evening with wine on the patio. Nope. I feel like I'm drowning in fabric, like I've lost my body in this not-quite-a-dress thing. And if it's a printed jumpsuit it's even worse. *echoes* Hello in there? It probably doesn't help that I have an hourglass/semi-pear figure and most jumpsuits have baggier fabric around this hips. I'm not looking make my butt look bigger thanks. It also does not help that I feel like I'm crawling inside a cocoon. I'm a lovely lady, not a worm.
Overalls: Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Confession: I don't think these look good on most people. There have been a few surprise exceptions, but in general I just don't find them flattering and especially not flattering on my body type. Don't get me wrong, I do not agree with only wearing things for certain fruits, but I also don't want to look frumpy, which exactly the appearance I have in overalls! Admittedly, I originally hail from North Alabama and I have worked really, really hard to not look or sound like I am from Alabama, so perhaps that is a part of my aversion to this atrocity.
Gladiator sandals: Can we say weird tan lines? We can say weird tan lines. I tan really easily and the only thing that I'll allow to make weird tan lines on my body is those super popular strappy back bras.
High waisted jeans and skirts: Let me start by saying that these look great on some people! I am jealous of those who successfully rock super high waistlines and tiny crop tops but it just is not a good look on me. Everything gets flattened out and because I do have a wider set frame, I just look wide. While I am definitely proud of who I am, I'm still not going to walk around in something that makes me feel bad. I also feel like higher waisted pants and skirts somehow make my arms look chubby? Don't ask how because I do not know. I'll stick with a good midrise.
Harem pants: Oh harem pants. So lovely in the appropriate culture, so wretched on me. My rear end attracts enough attention without me looking like I'm wearing a soggy diaper. I'll pass.
Leggings as pants: Whoah now partner. I love leggings. As a long legged, tall girl, I need leggings under some dresses to be decent. I love them under giant sweaters to hang out at home. I love them under jeans for added warmth. I love them anywhere that would normally call for tights because they are more durable and I have a no shoes in the house policy, which means it's easier to lounge around in leggings than tights. You know what I don't love? Leggings worn as pants showing the whole world my panty line, my butt wiggles (hey, I love my body, but the rest the world don't wanna see that), and probably my actual panties too. It just isn't a good look for me or, in all honesty, anyone. Yep, I am proud to say that I only think leggings are appropriate when the top is long enough to cover your bottom anyway, aka they are not a replacement for real pants. I'll never wear them as pants and I honestly can't wait for the rest of the world to hide their underwear again under tunics and dresses. BONUS HELPFUL TIP: If you have any doubt, please refer to this chart to know if you are wearing leggings, or pants.
Jeggings: See all the reasons I can't wear leggings as pants. Jeggings are especially bad when they are the cheap ones that look like... well, fake denim. Ick.
Ugg Boots: God bless you if you love them. Keep those toes warm. I'll do anything I can to stay far, far away from Uggs. I just really don't like my feet to look and feel huge.
Now that this is all said and done, please know that these opinions are strictly my own. This is not a guide for what you should do, only what has worked for me in the past. I would never, ever tell someone to avoid a clothing item that makes them happy, regardless of my personal thoughts. The things on this list most certainly do not make me happy, but they if they work for you and that is wonderful! If you want to wear overalls to get coffee in Brooklyn or a romper to a music festival, more power to you. I'll just not do that and I'll try really, really hard not to judge. Unless you're wearing leggings as pants. Then I'll judge. ;)
